There’s a time in most of our lives when we wrestle with the frustration of why we can’t seem to maintain the organization in our homes. Why can’t I just get a handle on organization in my home?!? Things can spiral beyond what we feel is organized and sometimes we can’t stop the spinning.
“I’m an intelligent woman, I feel like I should be able to do this!”
So many women who call me for organizational advice, start their phone call with this very phrase. Frustration mixed with a feeling of failure to meet expectations. Expectations they have for themselves. Or expectations that they perceive from their families. We all have that sick feeling of discouragement when we feel we have fallen short where we know we are capable.
You’re not alone. This happens in our desire for organization as well as many other areas of our lives. A desire to meet expectations and to be capable of doing it all well.
Here’s the pep talk, gals. You are capable. You are whole. You are created as a women with so much to offer your family and your community, and you are beyond amazing, just as you are in this very moment.
But how do you push past that feeling of that you should be able to do …….. [you fill in the blank]?
Here’s my insight.
Tackle one area of discouragement at a time
Most likely, if you feel defeated in one area of your life, there are many other areas that are experiencing the domino effects. For instance, if your house is feeling out of sorts, most likely you’re also hating your wardrobe, not exercising as often as you’d like, or have some tension in your marriage. [or maybe all of the above, plus some] Don’t attempt to do a life overhaul in one week. Choose one area of your life to adjust first. If you remove one bad habit, replace it with one good habit. If you choose to begin with the area of organization, focus on one area of the home at a time. This link gives you a few simple tips to get started.
You weren’t created to do things alone
We are designed to do things in community; and getting back on track, eating healthy, or getting your home back to a peaceful environment isn’t an exclusion to needing other people. So ask your husband, bestie, sister or a professional to help. Things are more exciting when you do them with others alongside. Hold each other accountable and keep the communication lines of success and failure in front of you. Voxer is a great app for communicating with others at your convenience.
Write out your intentions
Things become more real when we can articulate where we are at and where we want to be in the future. You don’t have to set an actual goal if that’s not your style [it’s not mine], but journal out how you’re feeling in the present and where you’d like to be in three months and six months. Be honest with where you are at. It’s up to you if you want to share it with someone else, but sometimes the hardest person to be honest with is yourself. Writing it down makes it real.
Structure gives you peace of mind
Whether you are type A, B, or C you can benefit from a little structure. Often times when we feel like things have spiraled out of control and we’ve fallen short of expectations, it’s because we’ve let go of all structure in our lives. When we have a little discipline in our home, purpose in our to-dos, and boundaries in our schedule we feel the freedom to be more in control and intentional with our actions and thoughts. I believe that clutter takes away our peace of mind, so clearing off the counter each night can give us a little empowerment to press on to bigger things.
Don’t use a measuring stick for approval
Those negative thoughts you have about not meeting the mark or measuring up are not true. We have this measuring stick that we think is the world’s standards for how we are suppose to operate as women – as a wife, mother, sister, friend. I use the measuring stick almost daily, often times without realizing it. Am I measuring up to the standard of xyz? Can you identify what you use the measuring stick for? And then tell yourself three truths that defy that lie. It’s challenging. It’s uncomfortable. But you are created to be full of life, created to make a difference, created to have peace, and created to be you.
You can take steps towards improvement and towards breaking the barriers of your mind that are holding you back and telling you “you should be able to do it.” You CAN do it.
Set yourself up for success.